Whenever anyone mentions Derby I fondly remember my great uncle Erasmus McWibble who lived his entire life in the Darley area of that fair city. He was a local character, a passionate supporter of the local football team and for a brief period served as the ninth Bishop of Derby.
He claimed he could trace his branch of the family right back to the noted Hamish McWibble who marched south with the Jacobite Rising of 1745. By an unfortunate turn of events he happened to be drunk in a seedy tavern when the Jacobites decided to return to Scotland and he missed the call. Hamish was quick of mind and affected an English accent to pass as local. When questioned about his mass of flame red hair and the kilt he would just dismiss it as a genetic quirk and nothing more was ever said about it.
My great uncle amassed his fortune in the silk industry. His factory would spin the finest silk and fashion it into garments of every kind. His silken female undergarments were particularly popular. He put a lot of effort into this line. His interest in underwear was well known to all in the Derby textile trade. It is reckoned that every draper and magistrate in Derby had come across him at one time or another.
Upon retirement he invested his money into the creation of public parks and open spaces for the good burghers to enjoy. The people rejoiced in this and eventually in 1995, after much petitioning, the City Council erected a statue in his memory. A small token of the esteem in which he was held.
It is for this reason alone that I hope Derby County thrash whatever team they happen to be playing against tonight.
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