Whenever anybody mentions Wolverhampton I fondly remember my great uncle Enoch Yamyam von Wibbel, who despite his fame maintained a modest two-bedroom house in Dunstall Hill. He was a passionate supporter of Wolves and was a regular at their Molineux ground.
He was a pioneer of cycling and established an engineering plant dedicated to the production of cycles. This in turn inspired others and for a while Wolverhampton was known as the centre of bicycle manufacture. This made him a very wealthy man indeed and allowed him to indulge his lifelong desire for adventure.
He would explore the West Midlands far and wide. From Cannock to Telford, Kidderminster to Coventry he would roam. Whilst on his travels it was rumoured that he discovered the remains of the mythical Wolverhampton Abbey. He would never publicly confirm this however.
Whispers abounded that the Abbey concealed the portal to the Hollow Earth. For weeks he was harangued by reporters from the Wolverhampton Express and Star until one dark night of destiny he managed to give them the slip and make good his escape
He was never seen again. Legend has it that he entered the portal and made a new life amongst the giants and the Germans that already live there under the glow of the Inner Sun. It is said that one day he will return to bring back glory to the city, but this tends to only be said by people that have freely partaken of the grape or the grain.
It is for this reason alone that I hope Wolves spank whatever team they happen to be playing this weekend.
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