Whenever anybody mentions Brentford I fondly remember my great uncle Penrose Wibble who
lived in the area from birth to his unfortunate demise in a bizarre vacuum-cleaning incident.
Penrose lived on the Butts Estate and worked for many years as a ledger clerk at the local Gillette
works in nearby Iselworth. Whilst his outward appearance was quite dull and unremarkable, he led
a secret life as a celebrated yet mysterious author. He wrote a series of thriller novels featuring
Lazlo Woodbine which are widely regarded as masterpieces of the genre. These novels were a great
success selling in their millions. Sadly his sci-fi ‘Adam Earth’ series was not received so well, in fact
everyone considered them to be rubbish really.
It was this Adam Earth series that inspired another scion of Brentford, a certain Robert Rankin to put
biro to exercise book and begin his writing career. He felt he could write better sci-fi. And he did.
He really did.
Penrose was a regular in the local inns and taverns of Brentford, being well known in each of the
pubs that stand at all four corners of the Brentford FC stadium. He would occasionally entertain a
few of his close friends with a secret reading from his latest Lazlo Woodbine novel before a home
match.
When his favourite pub, The Flying Swan closed, it was at Penrose’s suggestion that the football club
recreate the Swan in a secret room underneath the Brentford pitch. They even managed to retain
the services of Neville the part-time barman to preserve its authenticity.
It is for this reason alone I hope that Brentford thrash whatever team they happen to be playing
tonight.
