16. Granada

Whenever anyone mentions Granada I always fondly remember my great uncle Jose Alvarez Perez de Wibbler.

Think of that picturesque Andalusian city nestled at the foot of the Sierra Nevada mountains.  Consider the beautiful hot-summer Mediterranean climate, think of the long and turbulent history of this now sedate area.  Above all just picture the fabulous Alhambra Palace a marvelous monument and a UNESCO World Heritage site.

None of these things mattered to Jose.  He lived his entire life in Collyhurst, Manchester and worked at Granada TV studios for his entire career.  He once visited the Costa Brava on holiday but never went anywhere near that fantastic city.  

He started out at Granada as a callow youth of 15.  He was an apprentice sweeper-upper and with hard work and dedication eventually experienced all the joys that a TV studio can bring a young man.  He learned the importance of proper lighting, had a stint in the sound department, eventually rising via cameraman and production to Head of Technical Operations.  He even enjoyed several walk-on parts in Coronation Street.  His appearances on screen were a source of excitement for the family where we would carefully watch each episode to see if we could spot him sat in the background at the Rovers Return or perusing the adult magazines in the Corner Shop.

One day I may cobble together clips of his appearances from my old VHS tapes and burn them to a CD or put them on YouTube for a new generation to discover.  But that is all in the future.

For this reason alone I hope Granada thrash whatever team they happen to be playing tonight.

15. AC Milan

 

Whenever anyone mentions Milan I fondly remember my great Uncle Giuseppe Wibblanza who lived his entire life in this world-famous city of culture and fashion.

 

Giuseppe was a well-known and popular character around Milan.  He had a powerful tenor voice with which he would entertain the patrons of whatever bar he was in after his five bottles of vino rosso.  Proprietors were known to hire his services whenever the wanted to close and they had recalcitrant customers.  He was cheaper and strangely more effective than the local Mafioso.

 

He was a regular attendee at the San Siro.  Before each match of his beloved AC Milan he would stand on the terraces and sing Nessun Dorma to inspire the supporters.  This became a cult anthem with the supporters, it became so popular that FIFA adopted it as the theme for the 1994 World Cup.  It was Yaya/Kolo song of its time, Italians everywhere would often spontaneously break out into this song regardless of their club loyalty.

 

As his celebrity grew Beppe would be invited on to TV shows to offer his opinion on the hot topics of the day, he became a TV personality, revered across the nation.

 

A national holiday was declared for the day of his funeral.  People wailed uncontrollably, women rended their garments in anguish.  A statue was placed in Milan cathedral as a permanent honour.

 

It is for this reason alone that I hope AC Milan thrash whatever team they happen to be playing tonight.